And it came to me then that every plan
is a tiny prayer to Father Time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
took you a little farther away from me
Away from me
Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the TV entertained itself
'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said,
that "Love is watching someone die"
So who's going to watch you die?...
--Death Cab for Cutie
Listen to the complete song from the album Plans here.
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I remember hearing this song for the first time when I was working in the Emergency Department in CDA, Idaho and thinking about how for a lot of patients in the ED, there is no one there to watch them die, except for maybe an unknown doctor, nurse, nurse tech etc. At the very least, it was comforting to know that the people working in the ED were, in general, very compassionate, caring individuals, but it is still a weird concept to think that one of the biggest moments of your life (the end of your life) could be spent with someone who is a complete stranger.
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